Can One Person Increase Motivation in Another Person?

  After all, what about coaches and inspirational speakers?  They are paid to motivate other people to do great things.  It is a very powerful source of motivation.

  An infant will reach out and grasp a finger. Extrinsic motivators are the rewards and punishments that come from the outside world. Earn a trophy for first place in a competition for high performance, win the admiration of others.  The desired behavior will probably disappear when the threat is gone (or forgotten) or the promise has either been delivered or denied.

  What are the intrinsic motivators?

·         Success and pride of accomplishment

·         An understanding of the importance in applying the desired behavior  

·          Create an affirmative statement.

·         Be clear about your reasons for wanting it.

That's a pretty short and easy list.

Read any motivational book and, when the subject of goal setting comes up, you will always see this formula.

  Now create a statement that expresses the desired goal in an affirmative manner.   If you want to spend less time watching television and more time on responsibilities, projects and hobbies, you can say, "Our family devotes one hour each evening for taking care of responsibilities and spending creative time on hobbies and projects".

  Why do you have to write it down?  The writing process involves more motor skills and imprints the idea more clearly on the brain.

  "Better use of our time will reduce stress for the entire family.

“Then pin a date on the accomplishment, "We will start on Monday and meet again Saturday to talk about the different ways we used our extra time".

Allow for choice

Allow for individual styles

Allow for a learning curve

In our goal of spending less time in the evening in front of the television and more time reducing stress and pursuing creative endeavors, we can apply these allowances.

  Make a list of other jobs that could be shared by everyone and then work out a fair plan of accomplishment.

  "Danny, do you want your day to clean the bathroom to be Wednesday or Friday?"  "Would you rather make sandwiches or fold the laundry?"

Once a job is delegated it now belongs to the responsible person.

  Make sure the proper tools are available; instructions are clearly given and then walk away.

  The intrinsic goals of the individual will allow the necessary skills to develop naturally.

RECOGNIZE PROGRESS

Many people enjoy using charts and graphs to track progress.

  I urge you not to rely too heavily on them, however because they tend to make us think of extrinsic rewards.

  "Thanks for picking up the living room.

"Remember the two intrinsic motivators, pride and importance of action?  Or, a verbal pat on the back.

  A compliment delivered with every action sounds insincere.

DEVELOP EMPATHY

Empathy is the ability to feel what another person is feeling and is the foundation of intrinsic motivator number two:  an understanding of the importance in applying the desired behavior.

 From the charismatic manipulator, to the bully, to the social outcast, not being able to identify with other people's feelings can lead to problems.

 Always remember, however never to assign blame to another person when expressing an emotion.

 My stomach gets acidy and I can almost hear my boss yelling at me again.

" You have given your reasons on many different levels of comprehension:  the visual image of the clock, the physical sensation in your stomach, the sound of an angry boss.

  That one thing in itself will motivate others beyond anything else you do.

  "Everyone who lives here supports each other.

Another important factor in keeping the atmosphere of your home uplifting is to limit complaining.

 That old homily, "Leave your troubles on the doorstep" should not be forgotten.

CONTRIBUTE TO POSITIVE HEALTH HABITS

Eat right, drink lots of water and get plenty of exercise. Wear your intelligent caps while you are on your walk and talk with each other about the things you encounter. Have an energy snack available when you are working or creating at home.  You are supplying vitamins, calcium and fiber.  Float apple slices in ice water with a spritz of lemon juice and they won't turn brown.  If you are determined to reach your goals, follow through.